i haven´t been in the us for my past 4 birthdays. and the one before that i was in the middle of the desert catching bugs at deer creek, reading harry potter.

it´s not a bad thing, nor good, just the truth.

three years ago i was on maupiti, with gerard´s family, and alot of good food involving coconut milk. i danced some tahitian shake-it with lamoni.

my last birthday, i was sitting on the stand of the church in the alberdi, rosario ward. i was going to give a talk. i watched the congregation stand and sing the argentine national anthem. i cried.

today i met the first lady of guatemala. they stood and sang their anthem. i cried.

notification: there will be no coagulating conclusion to this blog.

best infestation of my life.

my room was infested with butterflies. baby ones. that grew up. take a look, at second looks. (remember that one, amy?)

this is for amy.

Santa Maria´s big party is happening right now, come if you want. The parade yesterday morning was lovely, cute children, lively propaganda, and a healthy dose of creepy clowns. Last night, Amy, David, Stephanie, Miguel and I decided to check out the procession to the Catholic church, and then the music in the town center. The procession was neat; there were lots of fireworks and the men carried the images of two virgens on their shoulders. It was calm and tranquilo. We walked to the center of town and listened to the sharp wooden sound of the marimba, the music was good. No one was dancing, and no one clapped when the songs were over. A drunk man stumbled toward us, speaking words that only he could hear, and making hand motions. My best bet was to avoid eye and body contact. We continued to listen to the music. I felt the ground beneath my feet bounce a little, not from the music. I looked down and just in front of our row of friends, this man fell down and hit his head--hard. I could see the blood on the ground, and he was not happy. Miguel told us not to mess with him, because he would blame us for his misfortune. He laid on the ground, getting stepped over, for the next 20 minutes or so. Trying to distract myself, I was tapping my foot. A man standing next to me said, you feel like dancing? Awkward person that I am, I said, yeah, thinking that we were making small talk. No, he wanted to dance. That´s fine, I thought, until, while dancing, I realized that this guy probably has a wife, and I am the only one dancing here, with this 45 year old guy. Uncomfortable. The song ended after a few minutes, and I was relieved. He asked me to dance the next, but I was resistant. Then this big guy was like, no she´s dancing with me. And then this drunk guy stumbled up and blurbled into my face about how he likes to dance and would I dance with him. I picked the first option. The thing about the music is that sometimes it goes on forever. This was especially true last night. I swear the second song lasted 20 minutes. The worst was when I saw my brother Juan Cornelio laughing and taking a picture of me with his cell phone. Very uncomfortable. I can´t quite communicate the awkwardness of the situation. There were 300 people watching, two pairs dancing, and me with Mr. Forty Five, who happened to be about as tall as my chest. I got a lot of crap from my family. It doesn´t matter. It builds character, they say. And being so close to the fireworks was worth it. Seeing the original gunpowder is inspiring.

things i like, alot.

dancing with bryan.

the smell of the rain coming.

chopped peppers and onions with salt and lime.

walking in a cloud.

listening to ricardo arjona sing tarde.

*many thanks to stephanie who gave me the music (not just arjona but also violeta parra) and davíd who made me want to listen to it.

i´ve made a few life decisions.

one of which is that i would like to dance with a cuban.

kinkikotik

the sun also rises over lake atitlán.

i feel an obligation to write since i haven´t written for quite some time.

not that i don´t want to write, but there is so much movement that it is hard to keep up.

first of all, the name of this blog is misleading, because i don´t really travel anymore, and i´d rather not. santa clara feels like home.

the past week has been overwhelming for me. i feel so cómo mi copa está rebosando. i am having a hard time expressing this, so let´s just talk about it later. that´s a cop out, this i know. short story: i planned a project, had expectations, and every single one of them has been changed into something that i could never have planned or imagined.

i held a five-minute-old baby in my arms. a ten pound baby. he was so new.

i want to live

where it rains. but this is half the problem, because i go out into it, thinking i can, and i end up with a busted tos, bad cough. small price to pay, perhaps.

the rain is coming down, and funny thing is, today, i was listening to my itunes, writing field notes, when ccr ¨have you ever seen the rain¨ came on. then rain song by ether.

i have been sick the past few days, and my nicolasa mother has chewed me out a few times. i deserve it. i keep going out in the rain. there is too much to do.

i have been busy with my field work, and this makes me happy. there are things to do everyday, and my biggest struggle is to sit down and write when i would much rather play the serious game with ricardo amilcar, jason, or aracely. or kiss brayan´s little face. or talk to Cristobal, or basically any other thing. this is my challenge.

i am rambling, talking to amy on gchat, but i have been thinking about this lately, reading the tao more than i ought?

I have just three things to teach:
simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
Simple in actions and in thoughts,
you return to the source of being.
Patient with both friends and enemies,
you accord with the way things are.
Compassionate toward yourself,
you reconcile all beings in the world.

This I found after having read Moroni 7:45-48. I am done writing now.